Review: When I Kill Myself

Country: Japan
Genre: Drama
Director: Ryo Nakajima
Cast: Keisuke Koide, Erena Mizusawa

With a title like this there's zero ambiguity. It's an eye catcher; what you see is what you get. When I Kill Myself is about suicide but it should not be passed over because of its subject matter. It's rare that a movie can be about suicide and still inspire thoughts about our lives outside the movie theatre. Good movies are supposed to make the audience question the meaning of their own existence; this is one of those movies. The question at the heart of the film is: What keeps us from dying? Death does not have to be physical; it can be spiritual, financial, or relational. Before people in this movie kill themselves in the physical sense something else dies first: Hope.

When I Kill Myself takes place in Japan's near future. Teenagers are killing themselves at an alarming rate and in order to get ahead of this epidemic the government institutes a program that selects 10-year-olds all over Japan at random. These chosen children are taken from their parents by force, and implanted with heart stopping devices. The children are given heart stopping buttons that allow them to kill themselves. Most lose hope and succumb to death. After seven years, suicides in Japan plummet "thanks" to the research. The government wants to pull the plug on the project but there's a problem: Six teenagers are still alive. The government officials, and prison staff wonder why these six refuse to die.

This movies biggest strength is its bravery; it has no fear. It's not afraid to force the characters to make hard choices nor is it afraid to make its characters look unsympathetic. All the characters from the six teenagers to the government official heading the program have clear goals. The government official wants this to go away like any politician would. The guards in the facility have had to do terrible things and watch children kill themselves for seven years. This would be enough to twist the best person; this does not excuse their actions but at least the motivation is understood. The teenagers depend on a combination of each other and wanting to see their families again.

These reasons to stay alive become weights around their necks throughout the movie. Every character faces disappointment; some turn on each other, and others are confronted with reality. For example; Yohei, (Keisuke Koide), a kind guard no older then the teenagers in the facility, gives Ryota, (Taiga), the most child-like person in the group, letters from her parents. She reads the letters and is happy until a recent letter informs her about another child. I am the oldest of three; I have two younger sisters. When our parents brought home our baby sister I didn't mind as much, but my younger sister told our parents they could take her back to the hospital. The feeling of fighting for parents affection, and feeling unwanted is something most siblings can relate to. Another example of emotion applicable to real life is jealously; this happens when Yohei becomes close to Masami, (Elena Mizusawa), the other girl and leader of the group. This makes Naoto, (Kazuma Sano), jealous; he's in love with her, and their bond is very close. I won't give away how close their bond is, but it alters the course of the film.

The strong character development counteracts the look of the film. While its not terrible, it can be somewhat distracting. The movie is shot on HD and it shows; the color of the facility is gray but the lighting and digital camera makes it look more grayish-green. When other parts of the facility (or prison) are seen the gray comes out more. This may not be an issue for most people who could care less about the difference between film and digital but it's something that distracted me. The scenes shot outside of the facility have great lighting and are beautiful to look at.

Another issue with the film is that the plot uses unnecessary flashbacks to explain the back story. These flashbacks act more like exposition and repetition; it's already clear how, and why the characters act the way they do. The characters who need more back story (ex: Masumi) do not get it. It's a hard balance to strike but the film comes so close to doing; it's hard to imagine why it does not get there. These frequent flashbacks also come at key points in the movie and disrupt the pacing of the narrative. I may be nitpicking but this movie offers so much and does so many things right, but it's the little mistakes that keep it from becoming something special, potential untapped is what keeps good movies from becoming great movies.

When I Kill Myself is a movie that will stay with anyone long after the credits roll and the lights come on. It's a deep movie that explores the human condition in a way imitators (cough...Tree of Life...cough) try, and fool people into believing they are. There are not too many movies nowadays that have the power to move and affect the audience. When one is made, it is the responsibility of the audience to tell others, have debates, and watch the movie again for anything we may have missed the first time. Movies, and music are two mediums that can evoke this type of emotion and When I Kill Myself succeeds in creating emotion, not exploiting it. Score: 8/10