Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Wild Wild West


In my infinite wisdom, I have managed to connect my Western short story from last week to my story this week. My story this week talks about Roger Goodell and how he is trying to bring law and order to the NFL. Now, it is no secret in recent years the NFL has had a problem with their player's behaving badly off the field. All sport leagues have this problem: the NBA is just coming out of their disciplinary problems, and baseball players have seen more syringes than crackheads in Harlem. The NFL, however, has been dominating the news over the past three seasons. From Michael Vick to Donte' Stallworth to Ben Roethilisberger, it has been a mess.


When Roger Goodell took over, the NFL became (and still is) the king of the hill on the sports landscape. With that said, the discipline policy under his predecessor was lax if not non-existent. For example, Leonard Little committed vehicular homicide while driving drunk. His punishment: an eight game suspension. I know some people would feel that is fair; until he was caught driving drunk again! He was not punished for the latter offense. This guy should be banned! Say what you will about Pete Rose, but he never killed anyone! Oh, then there was the love boat scandal (if you don't read any other link, read this one) where no one received punishment. (While video of the incident cannot be shown, this is an accurate re-enactment).



Enter Roger Goodell. No more DUI's, no more sexy parties. I cannot say I blame Goodell. After only 4 months on the job, Darrent Williams was killed in a drive by shooting. A couple of weeks later Adam "Pacman" Jones showed what happens when making it rain goes wrong when he was involved in a Las Vegas shootout. Things were getting out of hand and something needed to be done. While I do not agree with all of his decisions (Michael Vick being one of them) I will say he has been consistent. Ben Roethilisberger may not have been convicted but will still get punished. Sometimes extremes have to be taken when necessary (especially with a guy like this running around). So, Commissioner Goodell, if you are reading this (I know you are), remember: there was a point when the west was won. The law established itself and the lone ranger mentality was no longer needed. Your policies work now, but there will come a point when they will no longer be needed and you will have to give up that power. If you continue to be judge, jury and executioner it will only lead to one logical outcome: revolt. Well, in your case maybe an impeachment, but you get my point. Wow, that was heavy! I want to end on a funny note. Time for a random youtube video!


Thursday, April 8, 2010

The Revenge of John Brown

(Disclaimer: I have decided to change it up this week. This is not a sports story; it's a short story. I hope you enjoy.)


May 9, 1867


"Hey Johnny, get me another beer!"


"No! You haven't paid for the last one!"


"You know I'm good for it! I am about to win this next hand."


"Then you woke up from your dream."


Everyone laughs.


"Screw you, Parker. I'm winning!"


Arnold never wins. He is always losing. Day after day he comes into my bar, gets drunk and loses money. I'm tired of him.



The door opens and a man comes in. The light is blinding me. He stands like a long shadow in front of the door. As he starts walking forward, I notice he is wearing a black vest, black shoes, black overcoat, black boots, and black hat. Well, I'll be: a Negro! He's about medium height and clean shaven with eyes as black as coals. He is strongly built. He looks stoically over at the card table, walks over and sits down at the empty seat across from Arnold.

"You don't mind if I join you boys, do you?" he asks in a low, raspy voice.


"Who are you calling boy!?" Nick exclaims as he pounds the table.


"Nick, calm down." Parker says.


"Yeah Nick, we're progressive folks 'round these parts." Arnold laughs.


Nick sits back down in his seat to the right of the Negro.


"Let's start a new game since we have a guest," Arnold says with a grin.


Nick takes the cards and shuffles them. He passes them to the Negro, who gives five cards to everyone.


"So, do you have a name stranger?" Arnold asks.


"John Brown," the Negro answers.


"What, like the guy they hung a couple years back?" Parker inquires, now interested.


"The same," Brown replies emphatically.


"Figures!" Nick says as he puts down a card.


"So, Mr. Brown: what brings you 'round here?" Arnold asks.


"I'm just passing through," Brown answers.


"Well, everyone's passing through," Parker retorts as he drinks from his beer.


"I'm heading West," Brown answers more directly.


"Why?" asks Arnold.


"You guys sure are talkative! Are we playing or what!" Nick blurts out.



"Nick, what's wrong? We're just being friendly," Parker says.


"Like you've never seen a colored!" Nick yells, becoming increasingly irritated.


"Nick, I'm sure Mr. Brown doesn't mind---"


"Stop calling him Mr. Brown!" Nick snaps at Arnold.


"John will do," Brown says calmly as he gently puts his cards face down on the table.


"Okay, John," Nick replies, slapping his own cards down.


They go back to playing the game. Arnold is losing as usual, but Brown is not doing too bad. Though every once in a while Nick gives Brown a dirty look, Brown is not deterred. Arnold finally breaks the silence.


"So John, what brings you here?"


Arnold always starts talking when he starts losing.


"I'm searching for my brother," Brown explains.


"Well, no offense, but I don't think he's here," Arnold laughs, nearly choking on his beer.


"He's not my blood brother. We were brothers of the same cause," Brown continues.


"So, what are you going to do when you find him?" Arnold asks, picking up everyone's cards to start a new game.


"I'm going to kill him," Brown states matter-of-factly.


"Wow, that's heavy!" Arnold chuckles, messing up the cards while shuffling.


"Well, it's a loyalty thing," Brown says.


"Ain't that right!" Arnold agrees.


"He was the son of a slave owner, but he had a change of heart. He said he believed all men should be free. Then people started dying, and somewhere between saying and doing, his beliefs dissolved," Brown elaborates.


"A deserter? I thought you abolitioners stay together?" Nick chimes in.


"It's not about his being against slavery. He joined a cause and he was supposed to see it through," Brown says.


"Amen to that!" Parker shouts.


"He betrayed the people he volunteered to help. Even to a man like me that's cold," Brown states while seeing the cards he has received.


"Sounds like one hell of a guy," Arnold says smiling.


"Yeah, he's pretty funny too," Brown laughs.


"Really?" Nick responds flippantly, looking at his cards.


"Y'all want to hear a joke?" Brown asks.


"As long as it's funny," Arnold chuckles.


"Alright. Hope I tell it right. A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced two husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, 'Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin.' And the man asked, 'How can that be if you've been married two times?' And she said, 'Well, husband #1 was a doctor and all he cared about was how I felt. Husband #2 was a stamp collector, all he ever did was...God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!' 'Why?' the new husband asked. 'Well, you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!'"


"Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!.. wow!" Nick and Parker shout.


Everyone is laughing but Arnold.


"Isaac?" Arnold says in disbelief.


It was the quickest draw I have ever seen. Arnold frantically grasps his throat, falling to the floor, bleeding to death. Brown stands up, walks towards Arnold and kneels down beside him. Nick and Parker are stone-faced.


"I---I---thought," Arnold hisses as he is holding his throat.


"You thought I wouldn't find you?" Brown asks mockingly.


"That---was eight years ago!" Arnold says weakly.


"Time does not heal all wounds. Betrayal does not deserve forgiveness," Brown explains unemotionally.


Arnold's head hits the floor and he lets go of his throat. Brown takes off his hat and places it over the dead man's face. Brown gets up and walks toward the door, the light blinding me as he leaves. I look back at Arnold. Arnold never wins; he's always losing.