Review: Best Laid Plans

Country: United Kingdom
Genre: Drama
Director: David Blair
Cast: Stephen Graham, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, David O'Hara, Maxine Peake

Best Laid Plans is a frustrating movie; it's like a professional athlete with all the talent in the world, and the ability to take over a game, but pretends to be an average player because he/she fears the big moment. All the pieces for a powerful story are in place, but the fear of being different, and going out on a limb keeps Best Laid Plans from succeeding.

The story revolves around the friendship between Danny (Stephen Graham), a low level thug, and Joseph (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje), a giant man with the mind of a seven year old. Danny is in debt to a powerful crime boss, and in order to pay it off he persuades (i.e., manipulates) Joseph into participating in underground cage fights.

This premise could go two ways: the way of the coward, or the way of the brave. The way of the brave is not relying on cliches, and stepping out on a limb. This movie should tell a story about the fallacy of man, greed, and learning the meaning behind friendship...and of course this movie does not do that. It chooses the path of the coward: cliched plot points, fear of making the characters look bad, and not fighting for the audience's affection. This movie assumes just because one of its protagonists' is mentally challenged, it's granted automatic sympathy, but all this does is make one wonder if the screenwriter rides the shortbus.

The screenplay is afraid; there are not a lot of consequences to actions. The characters are never in any real danger. The only time I feel anything is during Joseph's first fight, but I feel disgust; I should be rooting for him to win. This is the pattern of Joseph's fights: he yells for Danny, his opponent gets the upper hand, Danny looks away, Joseph sees his blood, Danny tells him to fight back, Joseph gets mad, and turns into the Incredible Hulk (in a figurative way of course, though that would make things better), beats up the guy, and cries for Danny to take him home: rinse and repeat (and you too can make this movie). Joseph has some bruises; they're under his clothing, and never on his face because that would be silly. Joseph's girlfriend Isabel (and yes, she is also mentally handicapped) does not notice nor does her social worker (?) mother. Joseph never goes to the hospital, or does the audience see Danny helping him heal. These illogical missteps are unforgivable.

Danny is an awful human being, which is fine. The problem is that the movie tries to hide this, and make him into some hard luck guy this all just happens to. Danny does not make any sacrifices for Joseph, he pushes Joseph to fight, and we see that he feels bad about it...at least I think he feels bad. He's too busy falling in love with a lady of the night (that's a nicer way of saying prostitute). Danny runs around free even though he owes this kingpin a lot of money. Danny's girlfriend never finds out the truth nor does she change his perspective of the world. Again, fear rears its ugly head.

This movie should be gritty: There's fighting! There's sex! There are drugs! Danny's girlfriend is not only a prostitute, but a painter (a painter and a prostitute...that's some two for one special), and he even has a Scarface poster! This film should be so gritty the audience can snort cocaine off of Danny's living room table. Instead, the story sports an uneven tone that's borderline comedic; there's a 30 minute period in the film where there's no fighting. The movie pretends to be character driven but it's really all the plots ever seen in one movie. This makes the emotional scenes fall flat; when Danny finally stands up for Joseph there's just a meh feeling. Joseph fares a little better, but it's only out of pity rather than wanting to see him succeed. Joseph never questions Danny (even 7 year old's question their parents from time to time).

This fear trickles down into the performances as well. Stephen Graham does his best to make Danny seem human, but he just comes off as another small thug stereotype. There is never any silent moment of reflection until the end. He does not hate himself, he hates God because it's His fault for making him stupid. Akinnuoye-Agbaje makes Joseph come off like a cross between the Jolly Green Giant, and Frankenstein. I don't know if he's going for a Michael Clarke Duncan vibe, but it's an epic fail (he goes full-retard instead of Forrest Gump retard). David Blair shows the ability to photograph beautiful scenery, but the lighting overall is flat. He does not show much during the fight scenes; it's unfair to come up with this premise and not at least show any brutality.

There are some clever lines and beautiful shots, but in the end Best Laid Plans comes up shortbus. It could be a brave movie with something to say, but it's too afraid to deliver. It's like the pretty girl everyone has a crush on in school; she can pull off any look, she's nice and she waves at the unpopular kids. She has everything going for her...then she opens her mouth.

Score: 5/10